Spiritual practice is radical and far-reaching. It needs to begin with who we think we are in order to relinquish "who we think we are." It is not to become anyone or somebody or anything. It is to leave all of it.
It’s rather startling, isn’t it? And it requires practice to break out of the cocoon of habits and reactions that we have built. This pointer is quite sobering.
It does not mean to let the dead rot on the side of the road or pack your bags for elsewhere. Spiritual practice is more sweeping than a geographical change of scenery or a familial abandonment. It is an interior shift that is more drastic and more all-encompassing.
We find our self in confusion and the confusion is about who we are. It’s not to say we are not human beings, because we are but it is to say we are “confused” human beings who identify with the conditions of life as if those conditions are who we are. It’s a matter of taking the wrong stuff seriously.
We see our self as a “mother, father, brother, sister, and the many roles in a family. Perhaps you see yourself as the “smart child, the good parent, the bad apple, the dependable father, the rational one, the calm sister, or the favored mother” to name just a few on the endless list.
These identities drive your life and you think it is who you are. Of course you may live out your life wrapped in the confines of a conditioned identity. The identifications are potent and influence much of how you live your life because we are attached to them.
In general, very general, our identity is usually rooted in thinking we are a “good” somebody, a “bad” somebody or a swing between the two like the little girl who had a little curl right in the middle of her forehead.
There are many flavors to this generalization and colors, shapes and tones that come from our own history. The discovery of these coverings, these” flavored things you think you are” is part of the work of Zen. Sitting still in solitude is basic to this work of uncovering the self.
Consider: Who do you think you are?
This reflection can be a role such as, doctor, mother, son, wife, husband, manager, and so the list goes. And it includes identities of victim, abuser, addict, user, as well as “good, bad” devilish, angelic, godlike, or fool. In this reflection consider the first identity that pops up.
And it requires time, effort and practice to shift the focus of attention from the stimulation of the conditioned world to our interior life. Zen offers a method to make the shift. What happens requires practice and experience. It’s up to you.
“Suffering (dissatisfaction) isn’t going to go away, the one who is suffering (dissatisfied) is going to go away. “ Ayya Khema
PART THREE
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