Chapter Eighteen - Jane & Dee Dee
The Misery of Mrs. Geesky Number 18. The Red Reticule.
BEFORE CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
May we with all beings realize the emptiness of the three wheels: giver, receiver and gift.
Empty. Empty. Empty. No self in giving any thing. No self in receiving any thing. No gift in giving and receiving any thing. Empty of self is the Way. No claim to any prize whether we give it, get it or give a thing and get a thing in return. In other words, no measuring giver, receiver and gift.
We make no discrimination of these efforts of givng and getting. No calculations. No recriminations. No pettiness. No selfish interest. We vow. That’s it.
We vow to save all beings in humility of nothing in it for me. (By example).
We vow to abandon selfishness, ill-will and illusion.
We vow to enter the boundless Dharma gates of practice.
We vow to know the Buddha’s Way of the Unborn, Undying, Immutable.
Consider Jane and Dee Dee in light of the emptiness of self in giving, receiving and gift. Then, consider how the self influences your giving, receiving and gift.
Is it one hand washes the other?
Quid pro quo?
An eye for an eye. A tooth for a tooth?
What are your vows?
Chapter Eighteen - Jane & Dee Dee
‘The real deal,’ Dee Dee says to herself, amused with her find. ‘Someone discarded and stuffed a stylish treasure into an empty box under a table…. did they mean to throw this out?’
Dee Dee looks around. A very young woman, skinny and unwashed clicks hangers along a sale rack, two middle-agers scurry and dash through in a rush, a man moving a small figurine from the top of one empty table to another. She presumes he is the store manager which she confirms when she sees his photo framed in black plastic on the mustard wall near the back exit.
‘Whatta find!’ she says to herself as she happily exchanges her much smaller, beaded bag for the trendy one. She pulls the checkerboard leather shoulder strap as she rescues her new bag from the box under the empty table. The word trash scribbled on it gives her permission to make the exchange. Nostalgia for a pair of faux fringed suede boots tempts her for a moment. ‘Not today,’ Dee Dee decides. Her old but stylish dark gray rubber bottomed boots kept her legs warm all the way up above her knees. ‘I’m too tired. And these old leg boots still have wear in them.’ She agrees with herself without argument.
Comfortable with her old age, her white withered hair and stretched out skin, she lives with the flow of change, cheerful and quiet. Not one to protest, she learned to love what showed up, learned to fashion a style of knitted sweaters that draped low and long over dust worn jeans and her trusted old boots. Her love of long skirts and high leather-tied shoes, especially ones that came in any shade of brown, gave her a sense of being lucky and independent. Dumpsters and thrift stores are where she shopped.
‘Got to make room for new things,’ she reminds herself as she passes through the rear exit. ‘The river never stops flowing.’
This was the third year she lived in Jane’s backyard; made possible by the good kindness of Jane Firestone who for her own reason believed Dee Dee was a hermit. It was never cleared up as to where Jane got such an idea except that Jane did mention something about an old English custom. It was as far as Dee Dee knew. It was a sign of something important to Jane.
Their living arrangement worked; Dee Dee was solitary and silent, Jane was on-the-road and often preoccupied with a plan to find out the truth about something of a cosmic nature.
Dee Dee was not apt to speak about the past nor was she liable to seek out the company of anyone, which meant Jane was left to do as she liked without concern for the presence of another person in her backyard.
Dee Dee squints her eyes when she arrives at the back gate to Jane’s property. A plastic sandwich bag is tacked above the latch. There is a folded piece of paper inside. Dee Dee sees what she thinks is her name on the front of the paper.
“I don’t ever recall anyone leaving me a note in this manner….” Dee Dee remarks aloud. With little expectation Dee Dee unfastens the bag and pulls out the note. Dee Dee, I’d love it if you’d join me in the house for beer and ribs…. Jane.
Dee Dee looks up and down the long walkway from the back gate towards the French doors along the wide wood deck of Jane’s house. She isn’t sure what she might see or even what she might be looking for…. but she senses someone is watching her. She latches the gate making sure it is closed, pulls the tack out of the wood, refolds the paper and puts it all into the plastic sack.
‘I am hungry,’ she admits to herself emphasizing the word am. ‘Beer and ribs are not often on the menu for me these days.’ The invitation feels almost magical, as good a fortune as her designer purse. She opens the leather bag hung on her shoulder and drops the plastic bag into it.
By the time she reaches the bottom stair of the wide oak deck she sees Jane standing behind one side of the exterior French doors.
“Oh good,” says Jane, “you got my note? I’ve got the ribs in the oven on low to keep them warm and the growlers in the fridge. Come in.” Jane happily insisted, not wanting Dee Dee to change her mind.
Dee Dee looks up with a smile. “It’s very kind of you,” as she carefully climbs up each step. Jane notices her prudent stepping and moves to the landing at the top of the stairs.
“May I help you?”
“Oh. No. I…. I have been out walking most of the day. I am fit as a fiddle when I start out…. but at some point, it does require prudence, especially on steps.”
When Dee Dee reaches the deck Jane cannot help but admire her leather bag now slipping off her shoulder.
“What…. that is….” Jane stops herself from naming the designer and instead describes it. “The weave of the leather is nothing but elegant. An original.” Jane reaches without thinking for the bag which was about to slip off Dee Dee’s shoulder. “Creamy.” Jane says as she feels the soft leather between her fingers.
Dee Dee looks at Jane. “I couldn’t have said it better. It is creamy, isn’t it?”
With raised eyebrows Jane, in a feeling of kinship, nods her head up and down. Dee Dee knows that Jane must be wondering where she got it.
“You’re probably wondering where I got it?” Before Dee Dee says anything else Jane splices in with….
“Well….” Pulling her lips in with a smack. “Well…. I usually do ask where I might find such a lovely, lovely thing? But I know sometimes we want to keep these things to ourselves…. you know…. keep it private…. I mean Macy’s never tells Saks where they get their merchandise.”
Dee Dee smiles recognizing Jane’s kindness. “I suppose so. But I must say I don’t mind telling you. I found this one in a trash box in a thrift shop.”
Jane looks at Dee Dee. Dee Dee returns a smart look. They both laugh as Jane leads the way into the kitchen where she invites Dee Dee to sit down.
The table, set with a red and white tablecloth and red gingham dinner napkins is a pleasure to the eye.
“Please, have a seat. The ribs are in the warming oven and the beer is cold. I hope you are hungry. Of course, you are…. you’ve been walking all over.”
Jane takes down two frosted Belgian glasses and sets one across from the other. With two thick crocheted potholders she removes a dish of spicy ribs from the warming drawer. Lifting a baby back from the warm porcelain dish, she plops the ribs and scoops of sweet, bright coleslaw alongside it then, offers Dee Dee first dibs.
“Eat what you can.” Jane hopes she has not been too extravagant…. too showy.
When Jane sits down, she raises her glass. “Here’s to beautiful things in trash boxes.”
“Oh yes!” Dee Dee joins in with enthusiasm.
They both fidget with knife and fork. Dee Dee thinks to herself, ‘Everything belongs to this woman. And it is all gorgeous.’ She takes in the lavish kitchen with a beautiful and large red stove. While Dee Dee braids together the luxury of the space, she is surprised to see a line of notes on the door of the fridge. They look like things Dee Dee may have said at one time or another to Jane. Each one is written in careful, clear lettering on small slips of paper arranged in a vertical line held up by elaborate magnets. Before she can remember when she might have said them, Jane speaks.
“I wanted to see you…. of course. I’ve been on the road, as you know. Well…. now I am not so much on the road. Not so much traveling…. traveling is such hard work.” Jane glances down at her full plate and tags on….” And I just don’t need it anymore. I have had enough, as they say.”
Dee Dee watches Jane in some accord as she takes a bite of the rib meat knowing it is hard to change material things and much harder to change the mind.
“Mouth-watering.” She darts in a word or phrase between listening to Jane’s story and complimenting her host. “And the beer…. I must admit I’ve never fancied the taste…. but this is…. this is mild.”
“Oh good. Glad you like it. And I agree about the beer…. it’s exactly right. It’s not bitter.” Jane washes down a bite of saucy meat with a swallow of the pale ale from her glass. “As I was saying…. now…. I’m here more than not.”
Dee Dee stops eating and interrupts Jane with a sudden direct question. “Do you want me to move out?”
“Oh, God no. Not at all. No Dee Dee…. I want your take on something. No. No. I don’t want you to move out. The arrangement is working out. I hope it is for you. I don’t want to suppose it is, if it isn’t. You see…. oh, go ahead…. please keep eating. I just wanted to share a meal with you…. that’s the first thing….to let you know I’m going to be around more….and well….to get your take on a few things that…. well…. one thing in particular…. but also, to chew the fat. I want to get your take on the neighborhood.”
Dee Dee sets her fork down then folds her hands on her lap as she sits back against the chair. She laughs just a little before she speaks.
“I…. never.” She pauses in such a way as to make any dismay she feels silly.
“You never what?” Jane asks with a bright grin.
“I never thought you’d want my take on the neighborhood. You see, I really don’t mingle…. the way the others do. You know, chit chat…. don’t misunderstand. If someone speaks to me, I return the courtesy. But that really is about it.”
“Yes, but….” Jane speaks softly as she stirs closer to Dee Dee who has placed her hands on her lap, her legs crossed at the ankles. “You see what’s going on….” Jane stops and looks at Dee Dee in a more serious manner, “don’t you?”
Dee Dee wets her lips, lifting her white stringy eyebrows in a judicious way. “I suppose I do see things…. when I am out walking.”
“Yes.” Jane affirms with emphasis. “Yes. Exactly.”
Before they continue Jane sits back in hope and encourages Dee Dee to continue to eat. “This is wonderful, don’t you think?” Jane says as she points to the plates of food and glasses of beer. “Let me get you some more beer?” Dee Dee does not refuse.
“I think it’s just marvelous that you walk everywhere. I wish I did more of that…. but I must admit I love my Town Car…. but walking might be faster…. if this week is any indication.”
Jane takes the last nip from her glass and empties one of the growlers into it. “I had the strangest…I think I can say that to you…. strangest…. encounter with a very strange woman.”
Dee Dee, feeling a bit lightheaded, lifts her second glass of beer offering a mindless toast in hopes that Jane might tell her what she anticipated was a story.
“Here’s to the strangest encounters.”
Jane surprised, raises her glass without hesitation, clicks it against Dee Dee’s agreeing to the toast. “Here. Here. To the strangest encounters.” With her glass in the air, she angles it towards her mouth and takes two big gulps of beer then wipes her mouth with the gingham napkin.
“You see,” she says placing her elbow on the table. “There was a traffic jam. North of here. You know it, I am sure. It’s where there are a large number of apartment buildings and houses set together. A very narrow street” Jane’s head wobbles as she ticks her head to the North.
Dee Dee, light-hearted, joins Jane by taking two big gulps of her beer.
“This strange….and I mean incomprehensibly so” Jane taps the tip of her finger as she repeats the word strange. “Strange woman got out of her car for God only knows what and left it there in the middle of the street. Blocking the flow of traffic! I know.” Jane stares at Dee Dee in an earnest way as only someone who is tipsy does.
“It doesn’t sound like much but believe me it was strange.”
“I believe you.” Dee Dee offers her credence.
“Thank you.” Jane answers back looking to see if this might lead to another toast but both glasses were empty, and she knew if they kept drinking, she’d never get to what she wanted to ask Dee Dee.
“Thank you.” Jane says again followed by a soft tipsy praise. “Well…. it’s wonderful…. this is wonderful to share a meal with you. And have no fear of me wanting you to move out. But….it does take me to another topic…. about the neighborhood.”
Dee Dee again puts her fork down but this time it is because she finished eating and needs to rest her very full belly and her slightly intoxicated head.
“I’m sorry.” Jane cuts herself off as she flares her arms out with her hands. “I can’t offer you a sweet. I didn’t get anything for dessert.”
“I wasn’t expecting any.” Dee Dee laughs as closes her eyes.
“Well…. thank you. But as I was about to say…. I want your take on the neighborhood. You see…. I got a phone call this week from a neighbor; someone I don’t know…. a Julie Berker?”
“I know who she is…. what I mean is, I know her by sight.”
“Yes. That’s terrific. I thought you would. Well…. I got a phone call from her asking…. actually…. inviting me to a neighborhood meeting.”
Dee Dee shakes her head as if she knows what Jane refers to.
“Do you know about this?”
“I know the neighbors have get-togethers…. I see them coming and going…. of course, there’s the neighborhood celebrations and they often sit out in groups on the parkways. I’ve never been invited. But I wouldn’t expect to be. I don’t know them. They don’t me.”
“Well…. that’s the odd thing, Dee Dee.”
Dee Dee feeling sleepy from the food and beer shakes her head in agreement.
“I don’t know them, and they don’t know me either. Yet, this week I get a phone call from this…. this Julie Berker inviting me….and I might add encouraging me to come to some meeting. She explained she was calling on behalf of the Baines….do you know them?”
“Yes. They own the large house with two big statues in front.”
“Odd. Just odd. Julie Berker calls. I don’t know any of them. And this Julie Berker didn’t say what it was about…. but I don’t know…. I have a bad feeling about it. The fact is that in all the years I’ve lived here I’ve never even heard of these meetings let alone been invited to one. I started thinking about it and I am wondering if the meeting is about me…. well…. not really me, but….”
“Me?” Dee Dee implants herself.
Jane stops, looks at Dee Dee. “You’re very perceptive.”
“Then it is about me.”
“No. No. I mean it might be…. that is what I wanted to talk to you about. Do you think it is about you?” Jane glances away with embarrassment. “That didn’t come out right. No. It isn’t about you, at least I don’t think it is. But something is going on in the neighborhood and I thought you might know what…. or who might be the subject or what? I must admit that I wondered if it was about you…. well…. not you, you…. but the fact that you live in my backyard.”
“Oh. Oh. I see. You thought they were inviting you to complain about me living in your backyard?”
“Yes. Yes. I mean maybe?”
“No. no one cares…. for the most part no one cares that I live in your back yard. If there is anyone in this neighborhood that these neighbors are upset about…. upset enough to have a meeting and invite you…. it’s that strange woman we toasted to.”
Jane puzzled, says, “Really? Well…. I mean this is good news, isn’t it? I mean if it is not about you living in the backyard.”
“Jane,” Dee Dee feeling an ease from the sweet beer touches the back of Jane’s hand. “I am an old woman. A very old woman. I am invisible. I don’t cause anyone any trouble. I assure you I am invisible to these neighbors. I see them but they do not see me.”
“Well…. this is a relief. We should have another…. Jane gets up, takes the growler from the fridge, unsnaps the wired cap and pours them both a glass. While standing she raises the glass and together, they toast, “To old age and being invisible.” They both finish with a click and here, here. With this playfulness Jane sits down again.
“Well…. since we are in the clear…. maybe you can fill me in on the strange woman. My one encounter certainly showed me something was wrong. What has she done to require a neighborhood meeting?”
Dee Dee takes a big swig before she begins to describe what she knows. “The woman, the strange woman, her name is Mrs. Geesky. She is considered strange in a way no one seems to be able to pinpoint. She’s been arrested. Accused of trespassing. She has a long list of offenses. Not just the trespassing.” With one more sip Dee Dee sits back. “She steals other people’s pets. She leaves bowls and bowls of food out all over.” Jane winces. Dee Dee explains. “I know. It sounds kind. But food out for the wildlife draws skunks, rats, raccoon families and coyotes.”
“We have coyotes?”
“Hmm hmm.” Dee Dee barely takes a breath before continuing.
“She is known to be obstreperous when approached or when she approaches.” Dee Dee uses her fingers to count out the offenses. “She runs the stops signs. As you know she blocks traffic. (Dee Dee gives a knowing nod to Jane) She speeds down the streets like a bat outta hell. She screams and prowls through yards at night looking for her cats. She’s been known to bang on your door at any and all hours. She accuses people of outrageous things.”
By now Dee Dee has the thumb and index finger of her second hand pointed up. “She condemns with her mouth. She says things no one can understand. Don’t worry, it’s not me or you. If they want to have a meeting, it’s about her. They want her to move out, to leave the neighborhood. I know that. But…. (Dee Dee stops and takes another sip of beer) having the meeting to welcome you home. I think most know you traveled for work and now they know you’ve retired.”
Jane flinches at the word retire and hopes Dee Dee does not see her discomfort. Dee Dee continues.
“And you know, Jane…. (Dee Dee checks to see if this intimacy is acceptable; Jane responds with a modest smile) everyone knows who you are…. your career. Your fashion fame.
This time Jane closes her eyes in a bashful shyness. When she opens her eyes, she looks to see if there is enough beer to wash down these feelings. There isn’t. With two quick snuffles she wants to complete her investigation, her worried query with a question.
Before Jane can say anything, Dee Dee adds “Jane, it is very possible that the neighbors want to meet a famous model. And that would be you!”
“Well…. Dee Dee, do you think I should go to this meeting?”
Dee Dee remains as she was and speaks with a seriousness. “I can’t say.”
Jane jiggles her head in a pale paint of acceptance as she feels disappointment…. but she knows Dee Dee can’t say…. can’t tell her what to do. “Of course. You’re right. I know that. I am grateful for all you have told me. It helps me.”
Dee Dee looks at Jane with recognition. “Yes, as you said Jane it is hard to travel from place to place; travel is demanding work. And from what I know… it is much harder to stay put. To work with the mind to stay where you are. That is harder.”
With a long stream of air through her nose Dee Dee exhales. “I don’t want to overstay my welcome. This was…. delightful.” Dee Dee stands up, with her soft leather treasure hanging from her shoulder, lighthearted. She straightens herself by holding the edge of the table. Before she makes her way back to her hut she adds with high regard for Jane, “Thank you.”
“Oh. Thank you. We’ll do it again if you’re up for it?” Jane stands up, motions with her hand towards the door.
“Of course. Of course.”
Once Dee Dee is well on her way along the cobbled path to her hut, Jane hurries back in to hunt down a pen and paper.
“It is hard to travel from place to place….and it is much harder to stay put and work with the mind where you are.”
Satisfied with the visit she posts the paper next to the long line of others on the door of the fridge.
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