The Illusion of Control?
Realization is What Controls Desire
THE ILLUSION WAS TO THINK SHE HAD ANY CONTROL OVER HER LIFE by Hollis Sigler, 1992
Hollis Sigler began to paint like a child in the mid-70’s after an emotional trauma; her breast cancer returned. Drawing became her salvation. Initially she was ‘determined not to reveal the cause’ because she wanted the work to touch a common experience. Later, she became more focused with this style and related it to a specific cause. Although the work is personal it is also clearly universal. It touches a common experience of the illusion of control over life as we face the reality of aging, sickness and death. I am grateful for her work and bow to her offering of her paintings.
I find images often go beyond the limits of words and when coupled with words may express universal spiritual truths. I post the image as a contemplation. Sit with it in silence and solitude and wait for what it offers to you.
What does it elicit? And perhaps more importantly what is in your control?
Caution: Do not believe anything I say, this practice is a ‘find out for yourself’ practice.
It requires your direct experience.
There is a simple equation often used in psychology that may help you recognize what is in under your control or influence.
Life Happens + Your Response to life = Liberation or Unsatisfactoriness.
This equation is running all the time, but we may fail to remember the values that are possible. The values in this equation are based on your response to your life.
Everything is changing (happening) and conspires to awaken us with an awakened response when we practice. We use attention to see and study our responses. Hollis Sigler expressed her response to breast cancer in her drawings.
How do you respond to life happening right where you are?
We need to be careful when we think and believe we are in control. Sometimes we need to be stopped midstream and change direction. This may happen even when we think and believe we are going in what we might call the right direction. When we find the body is sick we stop. It is a warning, a signal we need to contemplate what we are experiencing.
Here is an example.
I recenlty purchased a historical book after hearing about the content of the work. I began to read it and for the first few chapters the book was what I call in the Light. When I returned to the book I had an altogether different response after reading just one more chapter. I was unable to finish the book because it literally made me sick. It was what I call in the dark. I put the book away and thought about skipping this dark chapter and seeing if the rest of the book turned to the light. It did not. I again put the book down and told myself - let it cool down. I wanted to see what was the trouble for me. As in…what was leading my response to the book from light to dark?
After trying one more time - I realized I was grasping something from the book - maybe even counting on it in some way which was a mental formation. Once I realized what was happening I put the book away. My gut or more properly intuition ended my book reading. What a relief.
Trust your intuition. We have the ability to know without reason which is a spiritual boon.
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